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Gwenda |
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Here is the obituary that was published in the Parish
Magazine in December 2021... |
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Goldhanger has lost one of its most well known and
loved characters. Gwenda Wolstenholme passed away in a nursing home at the
end of October after spending a few weeks in Broomfield Hospital. There are very many memories of Gwenda and over the
years. She originally lived in Head Street but her second husband, ex-civil
servant, Philip wanted to move to a bigger house in Church Street. She believed in socialism and the best life can
offer for the majority and in helping other people, as her father had when she
was a child, taking clothes and food to the poor in her village. She was born
in a mining village near Newcastle and then lived in Bamburgh,
Northumberland. She was very proud of her Northern heritage and would say
“You are only a Northerner if you were born north of The Tyne”. Her father was a policeman and her mother, like her,
lived well into her nineties. She was a grammar school girl who then went
onto university. One of her brothers was key in the formation of NATO and her
only son was named after her other brother, Aiden, who was in the Battle of
Britain. She travelled all over the world and owned a timeshare in the Lake
District, where she loved to go walking, but her favourite place, apart from
Goldhanger, was the beach at Bamburgh. This was where, after just finishing
her degree, she met her first husband George, who was convalescing after just
being released from a prisoner of war camp. They had their honeymoon at
Lydisfarne/Holy Island and had just £10 between them. Gwenda was widowed twice and after George, her first
husband, died she took her skills as a maths teacher into underprivileged
schools and later worked in Grove Prison for young offenders which was a
bleak, grim Victorian building on the Isle of Portland, Dorset. She would
sometimes sit in the class and read the daily newspapers to the boys. She had
a genuine affection and concern for the boy’s futures and would often be
saddened when, as she walked across the courtyard, a boy would shout from one
of the tiny windows. “I’m back miss!” They would also say to her “You teach
us maths and we will teach you how to get into a locked car”. There are also many memories of Gwenda in Goldhanger
and over the years she has contributed with extreme generosity, both financially
and with her time and energy to many different aspects of Goldhanger Village
life and supported most, if not all, of the Clubs and Institutions in the
village.
For another fund raiser Gwenda sat in a tent kiosk
by the Churchyard gate with a roll of wallpaper, on which she had drawn pictures
of Bricks. People then "bought" a brick for £5 which was symbolic
for building the walls. This was a great success. She organised the first two Goldhanger Open Gardens
which have subsequently became a biennial village event. For many years she was President of Goldhanger and
Little Totham Women’s Institute. The Committee meetings were an interesting
insight into Gwenda’s way of working. She stuck rigidly to the agenda, then
closed the meeting and offered the members sherry and biscuits - this part of
the evening lasted longer than the meeting! She also introduced the Thursday
pub lunch which is still going strong and through her efforts doubled the
number of W.I. members. Gwenda purchased two kayaks for the Sailing Club to
teach local children to sail; a fine self-propelled mower for the church; a
marquee which villagers could use with a donation to the Church funds; and
contributed additional handbells for the children to use in the Church. She
was always a supporter of Village Hall events and activities. Gwenda and Phillip were members of Maldon Museum and
regularly attended the Museum as Stewards. They were also members of the
Blackwater Decorative and Fine Arts Society and of the Museum Association.
Gwenda had earlier been the BDFAS and Museum Domain Management Associate
Co-ordinator and in the 1980s she chaired the Art Society. She did not suffer fools gladly but beneath her
brusque exterior she was extremely kind and had a wicked sense of humour. She
was so proud to be the oldest person in the village and never gave up, even
when walking became difficult, she would trot up and down Church Street with
her Zimmer frame, often with a bus following behind her, then had a little
rest outside the Chequers with a glass of wine, putting the world to rights with
anyone who would stop and have a chat. Gwenda will be really missed authors
of the article: Sally Marchant,
Margaret Salmon and David Newman a service of thanksgiving took place in St Peters
Church Goldhanger on Saturday 4th December with the title of... Goldhanger Remembers Gwenda As village residents were arriving for the service two pieces of music
that were included in the programme were played on the tower bell’s Ellacombe
Chimes apparatus... |
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Dear Lord and Father of Mankind |
Amazing Grace |
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The Order of Service was... |
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Welcome
and introduction by George Bunting Hymn: Dear Lord and Father of Mankind Reading:
John CH-14, 1-7. read by Kim Evans Solo: Make You Feel My Love sung by Claudia McKell Eulogy
by Michael McKell followed
by a solo of: Amazing Grace accompanied by Clive Roberts on guitar Reflections
on Gwenda’s life by her friends, neighbours and the
village organisations long supported by Gwenda |
Anthem: Only Remembered sung by the Goldhanger Jubilee Choir Reading: Death is nothing at all written
by the Revd. H Scott-Holland read by David Newman Cello
solo: Ladies in Lavender played by Andrew Kelso Prayers
by George Bunting followed
by The Lord’s Prayer Final
Hymn: Jerusalem the W.I. hymn |
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There were many reminiscences during
the service - here are some of the contributions... During Michael's eulogy he recalled the times when Gwenda was their next
door neighbour... “ We all have our own
versions of the people we love in our lives. Like snap shots. A smile, a
summer breeze, the smell of a Sunday roast and laughter around a dinner
table. This is my Gwenda. Sally and I met her
for the first time at a party at Peter and Tina d’Adehmar’s house. I knew
straight away she was from my tribe. After her second
husband Philip died Gwenda became a big part of our family life. Often with
us for Sunday lunches and Saturday night movies and drinks. She tutored both of
our children Claudia Grace and Louis in maths which formed a bond between
them. When she was teaching Louis as a small boy, he would try charming
and distracting her rather than answering the questions.Of course, she would
have none of it but always with a wink and a smile over his shoulder when he
eventually put his head down to work. She would laugh when
at over 6 foot now she would recall calling him little Louis. When Louis
walked into a room she would light up. He would always wrap her in his arms
and make a fuss of her. She would come to
Hatfield Peverel with me and watch Louis play football and although she
preferred rugby, she would watch football with me and Louis on Sunday
afternoons always ending a game with “It’s disgusting what they earn it’s
just a game!” She loved to hear
Claudia sing and watch her dance and attended many of Claudia’s dance shows
at the Civic Theatre when she was at Essex Dance. Then when Claudia trained
to be a professional dancer Gwenda came to her end of university show and
graduation. She came to most of
my theatre performances and critiqued my TV and film appearances. She
would say to me “Mike, why do you always play the villain?” She is the only
person I let call me Mike. She would say Sally
was the daughter she never had. She hated funerals, as she would say it was
like revisiting all the sadness for those she had lost. But she was there for
Sally when both her parents died. For her 90th
birthday we took her to Dorset on holiday with us, which gave her a chance to
see the house she had lived in with her first husband, George. She hadn’t
been there for many years but when we took her to the cemetery where George
was buried I have a vivid memory of her walking in the warm sunshine straight
to his headstone. We spoke many times
about how she wanted her funeral to be. She wanted a Viking funeral and for
Louis to fire the the flaming arrow, Claudia to sing and for me to sing
Amazing Grace. She believed in God,
a glass of white wine, the sunshine and the energy and company of the young.
She hated injustice, greed and dreaded the long dark nights of winter. “Come
on Mike I am so old, I have lived long enough I just don’t want to die in the
winter.” She wasn’t one for
big displays of a affection but at the end of those walks on a Sunday night
from my house to hers she would hand me her door key and say “I love you
Mike, take care”. No more winter nights now for The Queen of
Goldhanger ”.
Joyce spoke about Gwenda's time as
President of the W.I. ... “ I've been invited to
give a small insight into Gwenda's involvement with the Goldhanger WI. Some of you will know that she was
President of the village WI from November 1999 to November 2003 when she
handed the baton over to me. At the November 1999
AGM all the officers stood down and with no-one willing to become
President, Gwenda volunteered to take
on the role although she had no pre-planned intention to do so. I had
been a Committee member for a short while so Gwenda, in her usual way,
promptly announced I would be the Secretary!
I think we both went home that night wondering what had happened! The Committee
meetings were an interesting insight into Gwenda and I was allowed the
privilege of sitting in Phillip's chair. The meetings were very short as she didn't
really want any discussion about her ideas and just expected us to agree -
which didn't always happen so the meeting was even shorter on those
occasions! She stuck rigidly to
the agenda - she had the only copy - then closed the meeting and offered us
sherry and biscuits - this bit of the evening often lasted longer than the
meeting! These may not have been
very democratic meetings but Gwenda was open to suggestions and ideas
provided they were discussed with her in advance. No-one expected any acknowledgement of the
source of the idea! Membership of the WI at that time was small
and rather clicky so Gwenda set about changing the image and getting new
members. She had the idea of the WI
witches participating in the village parade to mark the Queen's Golden Jubilee
and was responsible for bringing the WI to the attention of the village
aiming to increase our numbers from 15 or so to her target of 30 regular
members - which she did achieve. |
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Here are two
video clips from that 2012 Jubilee event >> or watch it on
the... YouTube full size version ( in the 2nd
clip Gwenda can just be seen waving from behind the cab ) |
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She was the founder of
the WI Thursday lunch club - I think she was lonely and realised that a
number of members would welcome the chance to have a meal with some company
and at one time a dozen or more would meet in The Cricketers on a weekly
basis. She also started the annual dinner which was held the month
before our AGM so it was her opportunity to twist the arms of various people
to join the Committee! You'll
know she rarely took "no" for an answer! She started the WI
refreshments at the annual art show which grew from a small commitment to
become one of our regular income sources and although the WI had a cake stall
at various other village events I can't remember her making a cake on any
occasion! Gwenda rarely volunteered
to actually help with WI activities although she would always attend the
events. She personally gave
me her support during my time as President and then as the "events
organiser" and I shall always be grateful to her for giving me the
confidence to take on these roles.
Barry and I have many memories of Gwenda with her funny habits and
sense of humour and I'm sure everyone in the village will think of her with a
smile as she was certainly a personality who will be sadly missed ”. Rod told us about Gwenda's
generosity towards the Sailing Club... “ Even though we could never have persuaded
Gwenda to go out on the water, she was an enthusiastic honorary member of
Goldhanger Sailing Club. Many here today will remember the day that she
presented us with an Optimist dinghy that she had donated to the club for our
cadet sailors. The supplier was so impressed at the generosity of one of our
fellow villagers, that they donated another dinghy for the teenagers to use. One day I was sitting on a bench on the
club terrace with a mug of tea chatting to Gwenda, when she pointed a gnarly
old finger at our decrepit old kayak rack. “What is that?” It was made of old
scaffolding, masts and booms all lashed together. “Some of our members keep
their kayaks and canoes on there Gwenda, but most are split and holed or abandoned”.
“Why can’t the kids use them? Can they be fixed?” – “Too far gone Gwenda”.
“What would it cost to get more children out on the water in kayaks?” I
said “I don’t know Gwenda” “Well find out what you need and let me
know what they cost.” That was the Sunday, on Monday she rang wanting to know
the plan. By Thursday I had two brand new kayaks sitting on my lawn.
Youngsters were out paddling them the following weekend. Since that day, Gwenda’s kayaks have been so popular that they have
acted as a feeder into kayaking for many of our adults and children, who have
gone on to buy their own kayaks. The club bought two more kayaks and built a
new rack to accommodate them all. It is now so full of serviceable kayaks, we
now need to build another rack. The kayaking section is by far the fastest
growing part of the sailing club. If you walk along the sea wall when the
tide is up, between spring and late autumn, you’ll see the kayaks out. It’s
not at all unusual to see the Ladys Wot Kayak out on the water at 6 in the
morning. God bless you Gwenda ”.
Mark recalled some of his
involvement with Gwenda... “ As most of you will know Helen and I have had a long standing
friendship with Gwenda that covers many years, .this resulted in me doing
many jobs for her and spending much time in her company. Here are just a
couple of my reminiscences... My first notable memory is of Gwenda's
request for a Viking funeral. There was to be a procession led by a lone piper
through the village along the sea wall to a wooden boat filled with
combustible material. Gwenda was to be placed in the boat and an archer was
to fire a flaming arrow into it. Then her ashes were to be spread at Maiden
Castle, Bamburgh and Holy Island. My second memory was associated with the Queen's Jubilee in 2012 and
the village parade. I remember how much Gwenda looked like the Queen Mother
and that was how I would like to remember her: The Queen Mother of Goldhanger ”. Malcolm spoke about Debbie and his
experiences as Gwenda's immediate neighbour... “ Gwenda - where on earth does one start? Some might say Gwenda could be awkward, some might say she could be
argumentative, some might even say she could be a total pain in the
proverbial but I think we can all agree she was a fantastic character with a
wicked sense of humour and will be sorely missed. During the last months of her life she suffered one setback after
another but never gave up, she always
bounced back, she was a real trier. She could be very persistent, turning up
on our doorstep anything up to ten times a day, but you just had to admire
the amount of courage and effort that must have taken. Frequently she would turn up in a state of “near collapse”, claiming
she’d fallen, I’d say I’d pop round to make her a cup of tea.She’d struggle
out of the drive and I’d go upstairs to make sure she got home OK. Once she
thought she was out of sight she would undergo a miraculous recovery and
almost skip up her own driveway and into her house. I filmed it one day and
showed her, she just said “So you think I’m pulling a fast one”, with that
wicked glint in her eye. Gwenda, I’m sure, will feature prominently in any future history of
Goldhanger, and I’m sure she will go down in Goldhanger folk lore. She may be
gone, but she’ll never be forgotten. Good on you Gwenda ”. Clive told the congregation about
his long-standing friendship with Gwenda and how the love of modern music
brought them together... On many occasions Clive invited
Gwenda to tea and played her favourite tunes on his guitar which she always
seemed to greatly appreciate. He recalled a quite recent occasion when he
drove out into Church St only to find Gwenda walking down the middle of the
road using her Zimmer frame - as she frequently did. He asked her if she
could move to the side so he could pass. Her response was “only if you make a
donation to a charity” ! _______________________ At the end of the service many residents walked next door to The
Chequers and continued the celebration of Gwenda’s life, while the Church bells rang out with full
circle ringing... |
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_______________________ A postscript: More recently we have learnt that Gwenda made a very generous contribution towards new chairs at a location in the village. At the time she requested that there should be no publicity and those involved have decided that that position should be maintained after her death. Next time you are seated at a public location in the village you may well be on one of those chairs, so please think of her. _______________________ more portraits of
Gwenda |
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an excellent article about Gwenda
appeared in Maldon Nub News online on the 6th December 2021... https://maldon.nub.news/n/goldhanger-villagers-pay-tribute-after-much-loved-oldest-resident-dies this article was then shared on
these social media sites... https://www.facebook.com/MaldonNubNews/posts/412520387129656 https://twitter.com/MaldonNubNews/status/1467908373395951620 and on these news sites https://www.dailyadvent.com/gb/news/Goldhanger-villagers-pay-tribute-to-muchloved-oldest-resident https://www.inyourarea.co.uk/areas-we-cover/England/Essex/Goldhanger back to... |
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